


Underwater

by AbysmalVision



Category: Metal Gear
Genre: Relationship(s), Self-Reflection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-03
Updated: 2016-01-03
Packaged: 2018-05-11 13:48:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5628808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AbysmalVision/pseuds/AbysmalVision
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Snake considers those he was close to, as he reflects on his life. Short and brutal, just like his life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Underwater

After all these years the hole in his chest never quite healed. 

From the time he was born there was this empty feeling inside his chest, burning its slow way outward. 

He almost had Miller, first. They were close, after all the training Miller had put him through how could they not, but Snake always felt like something held them apart. When he found out, he always found out, it wasn't such a surprise. After all how could Miller ever really trust someone so similar to Big Boss? The hole went from his heart to his lungs, and he tried smoke it out. It was untouched. 

For a while, it was almost filled. Fox was what he needed and being friends, being lifelines for each other was enough to seal it over. They fought, they laughed, and he couldn't imagine himself happier. When he completed his mission and Fox, Frank, was gone, he felt it rip open again. His lifeline was cut and he was left alone. This time stretching down his spine and his stomach. Maybe if he just trained harder.

And when he came back Snake felt it almost rip him to shreds. 

"Hurt me more!" That phrase still haunted him. Wrapped tight around his throat like a noose. He heard it at night when he slept and during the day, every little thing calling it to mind. But now, after all these years, it was fading. Just as he almost couldn't remember Frank’s face, or his rare smile, or his almost nonexistent laugh, the one only Snake could pull from him. Just like he almost couldn't remember his voice anymore, not how Frank used to sound. Before his mind was taken from him. 

His dreams though, they did their best to remind him, with "you didn't save me"'s and "how could you"'s spoken from long dead lips.

The hole pushed further, into his liver. Maybe he could wash it away if he just drank enough. It remained unmoved.

Then Hal tried his best. After rescuing him and living with him, Snake could almost feel his chest trying to come back together. But Hal always managed to choose someone else, and Hal would always fall apart with them instead. They would die or leave, he would break, and Snake had to be strong because someone needed to pick up the pieces. He couldn't hurt, or couldn't show it anyway. One of them needed to keep it together.

Raiden never really tried to fix him, but he was a good distraction. Helped him not think, not feel. They were good drinking buddies for a while there. But then Raiden fell apart too. He had a family he couldn't be a part of and a body that was alien to him and it broke him. Come to think about it he hasn't seen him in a while. Hope his son is okay. 

It just keeps pushing down, through his knees. Or maybe that's just him getting older. It's hard to tell anymore. 

He is getting old, isn't he? Gonna go too soon, much too soon. Did he ever have a chance? Probably not. 

Liquid said they weren't too different and now, he thinks he might have been right. They were both doomed from the start, no life, no love, no freedom. 

The hole slips over his head and he can feel himself drowning. 

But that's alright, isn't it?

**Author's Note:**

> I've never really written much before, so if you feel like it let me know what you think. I might write more about him but i'm not sure. I do love him though, even if he makes me sad haha.  
> If i write more about him it probably wont be quite this sad.


End file.
